On the mend.

*My original plan was to journal this surgery each day.... but lo and behold, little girl needed her mama by her side 24/7 so there was not much extra time for me.. so this is my re-cap of whole ordeal.

The surgery is over!!!

and I have officially experienced the worst thing as a parent. 

I know, I know, I know that there are many people out there who have it so much worse than me, I acknowledge that with my whole heart!!!!

BUT,

when its my child... and something I've never experienced, having 3 super healthy kids... 

I had some serious motherly issues...

Like literally, I woke up the morning of Payton's surgery, went straight to the bathroom, barfed up my guts cuz I was nervous out of my mind. 

I seriously felt like I was in a little bubble that day... and I was not really me.

It was IN-SANE!!

I was ok (if you consider barfing your guts up and nervous out of your mind "ok";) until Nat started waking her up.. and I saw her... and all I could think was this is the last time I'll see her with a perfect little body. I'm not sure why, but that has been such a big deal for me.. my perfect little 3 year old's body was gonna be officially marked up for the rest of her life! 

and the tears flowed on and off since then....

Once we got to the hospital, and met with the anesthesiologist , The Urologist and the sweet nurses, my nerves calmed a tad, and once my parents, and mother-in-law came, and my dad prayed over Payton, I was feeling pretty calm.

They came in and gave her some meds to get her tired, so we had a good laugh as the meds hit her, and she turned into a loopy mess!!! It was hilarious!!

It was a long hour and a half... I'll just say that. I'm so grateful for the few phone calls from the surgery nurse letting us know how things were going... and it was always going GREAT!! We had some great company to keep us distracted those few hours.

When we saw that hospital bed wheel up, and I see trusty 'ol balley (her blanket) I was sooo relieved!!

But.... then the real fun started. 

It was like newborn baby in the hospital, on steroids. 

Wow!! I had no clue what we were in for. The first day she was sleeping on and off, with the "off" time being her screaming and crying in pain.

Begging us to take the catheter out. Begging us to take her home.

Heart wrenching is a perfect way to describe my feeling that day. There was absolutely nothing I could do to take her pain away, or to make her happy. All I could do was lay in bed with her, hold her as close as I could, and let her know I was there for her

That night was even worse! She got out of bed several times. So I awoke to a delusional little girl, at my sleep deprived bedside, screaming and trying to run (literally) out the door.

She kept saying she wanted to go home!! 

I slept beside her most of the night, but every once in a while I would slip over to the pull out bed to try and get some good sleep. Thats when she would go crazy!!

Like I said, newborn baby on steroids. This little baby could scream louder, move more, and had a little more of an opinion about what was going on in her life. ;)

The next day, I ran home to grab a shower while she napped, and came back to see that Nat had got her out of bed and they were looking at the fishies!! She very much enjoyed that fish tank, and we spent most of our time outside our room looking at the fish tank.

Her little face was swollen from all the IV fluids,

maybe this might be gross to you, but I wanted to get lots of pis of everything that went on so this was her little tail that she trailed around the 3 days we were there.

(Could you imagine walking around with a catheter in?!?! I don't think I could do it!!)

She is such a trooper!!!

Nat worked hard to keep her (bloody) urine out of the tube, into the collection bag.

Once she got out of bed for the day, she did NOT wanna get back in that bed.. so she spent her time on the couch. Doing puzzles, playing with play do, coloring, painting and doing lots of arts and crafts. 

The days were up and down. She was either her happy little self, or she was a zombified angry little being!!! Would not look at you. Would not talk to anyone!! 

It was sad to see her like that. The Dr. said that was the nature of childrens surgery... so it was comforting to know that her behavior was normal. 

We were able to manage her pain rather well. Once she could keep some food/fluids down, she could finally take the more effective pain medicine, and have the morphine for flare ups/bladder spasms.

They're the downer part to this surgery, the bladder spams.... and boy, oh boy did you know when she was having them. I felt so bad for her.

We watched lots of movies, and had lots of special visitors!! Payton's room looked so full LOVE!! It warmed my heart to know my child was so loved by so many... and not only do I have a great supportive family, I also married into a BIG, great, supportive family. :)

Another HUGE Thank you to everyone who prayed for her, texted, called, came and visited, sent goodies to her room, and brought lots of goodies for her!! We Appreciate you all sooo very much!!

It made our time in the hospital much more manageable!!!

By Wednesday, we were sooo ready to go home!! She was missing her brother, sister and cousins, and mama and daddy were quite ready to be in our own bed!!! ;)

6 AM Thursday rolled around, the nurse came in and took the foley out, we rested until Dr. Mciver came in and told us we were going HOME!! Woo Hoo!! 

We were outta there by noon and Payton was so excited to get to walk around with no IV, and no "Tail"

We've been home a few days now, and she is doing SO much better. The nights have still been rough, as she was still having some pain urinating, and has frequent urinating (I.e.... waking 15-20 times in the night to pee) slowly, the pain has gone away, and her urine is once again clear... but she is still peeing like crazy.... and when she's gotta go, she HAS to go right away!! That is the nature of the surgery tho, so we will work through it!!

I am SO proud of her!! Everyone has told us that she will bounce back right away, and although I thought there was no way this was "bouncing back" while we were in the hospital, she is definitely living up to that since we've been home!! She has not missed a beat being with her siblings. She's stayed up with them since the day we got home!!

We are officially off the pain meds, I took her bandage off today and now we await the steri-strips to fall off so we can see the "damage" hopefully I'll be okay when I actually see the scar. ;)

SPRING has SPRUNG!

Ohhh yes it has!! This is the greatest time of year not to hot, not to cold. Just plain lovely! 

and we are taking advantage of the nice days!! Not only do my kids pretty much live outdoors, but we've been working on a few projects!!

Nat went to crank up his grill the other night to grill something for dinner, only to find that after 4 moves, it has gone ka-put... so we HAD to go get another grill... and (although I have no pictures of it) it is a pretty amazing grill!! I am definitely excited about the many meals to come on the grill this summer!!!!

Let me tell you something about Nat and my brother... they get together and they brain storm and feed off each other with all these great ideas.... and the next thing you know, were at Lowes getting lumber for our new DECK!

... and theres my brother... hard at work!!

It has since been complete thanks to my hard workin' honey.... now all we need to do is stain it, put our new patio furniture together... move the new grill to its new location and we will be LIVING out on that deck. I am Soooo excited!!! This is something Nat and I have always dreamed about and we are pretty pumped to see that dream come true.

Kinsey and I have been doing a little gardening in the front.. Just a few pot plants here and there... between 6 kids, and 5 dogs, I don't think we are yet ready for an in ground garden... but maybe in the coming years!

We also built a raised garden bed and we now have a nice little Veggie garden!!!

We threw around the idea, since we're neighbors now, we can learn together, share the responsibility, and even better, share the fruits of our labor.

We finally decided if we're gonna do this, it was the time to do it!! So we read a little here and there, went to Lowes and got to work!!!

We tilled our spot.

 built the "raised" part... filled 'er up

The kids had fun helping us mix it all together.

and planted

We have some seeds planted, and some transplants... so we will see how that all goes, and hopefully be pro at it next year.

We also planted some herbs

and jalapeños.

 

I'll leave you with this...

red faced

sweaty

snotty

dirty

perfect little boy.

and did I mention....

It seems that many a people are shocked when I tell them who our neighbors are.... so I

 dont think I have shared who we moved next door to....

a rather cute and special family of 5 with 3 little boys that just so happen to be cousins to my 3 little ones. 

Yep! I moved next door to my brother. It was quite coincidental that the house next door to them came up for sale right about the time we sold our house in NM. 

We have pretty much been non stop partyin' since we moved in! Our kids are always together and they will grow up every cousins' dream life!!! 

Sometimes I'm still in shock over it all... 

like I went from being all alone, and very lonely living in NM to moving right across the road from my in-laws and loving the 6 months we had so close to them, to now moving next door to my brother, sister-in-law (whom I have common grounds) and my 3 nephews

There's been lots of sleepovers.

Lots of memories made.

Lots of diners shared together.

Lots of laughs

and lots of Joy!! 

and many more to come!!!

Blessed!

Well.... Somebody MUST be looking down on me, because the day after my post, we got a check in the mail for quite possibly the same exact amount of a new camera... and I'm rather certain that that is no coincidence and I fully recognize that that is the work of the Lord. I felt so wrapped in blessings and LOVED. My sweet, darling husband agreed to whisk me off to Best Buy to get me a new camera... and I feel complete again... driving everyone nuts with all my pictures.

One day they'll all thank me. ;)

My kids were spending some time with their Papa and Nana... so I had NO models to take pictures of... except one guy...

and the next day I snuck over and snapped a few pics of my sweet little nephew.

Sad...

Well...... I've been MIA for awhile..... and if I'm quite honest, theres a specific reason for that. 

Every single time I sit down and think about blogging, my heart sinks to my stomach and I sit in denial of something dear to my heart.

My camera is gone.

..... and this evening, approximately 3 weeks since I've laid hands on my camera, I'm facing the facts that I might not lay hands on it again. 

and I am

DEVASTATED!

I know, I know... I'm quite possibly taking it a little to far... but, taking pictures is something that I am passionate about... taking pictures of my kids, at that.... the memories. 

Agghh... my poor soul. I think the thing that gets me more than my $800 missing , possibly stolen camera, is that there are precious memories on that camera. Take the dang camera.... but please give me my pictures back. 

I'm bummed. But, I'll continue praying for divine intervention and I'll keep searching... and I suppose start saving for another... and in the mean time, pull out my point and shoot.

The Casa

Each and every day I find myself thinking that this house was made for us!! 

I know, cheesy... maybe its cuz we've been without a "normal" home for so long... and we've just been outta whack... either way, we are loving our house!! 

I LOVE that the kids have their own space upstairs, and I don't have to worry about "keeping clean" when/if people come over. 

I also LOVE the fact that after the kids are down for a nap, or for bed, I DONT have to worry about being quite, or tip toeing around. Quite a change from our last home, where we were in such close quarters, the TV was mounted on the wall of the kids' bedroom. 

I take full advantage of this, and even am a little on the loud side while the kids sleep.

Another little piece of perfection is the huge concrete slab out in the backyard!! We spend a lot of time out there!! 

and apparently I'm crooked... cuz all my pics are crooked... so tilt your head just a little. ;)

This is the front foyer area which I'm so thankful for, and so in love with. Its the perfect size to not  take up a ton of extra space in the house, but perfect size for a nice shelf and coat rack.

This is the front bedroom/spare bedroom/it might be turned into Madelynns room cuz she is begging for her own room... we shall see how that works out. 

The living room from the front bedroom.

                      

Mitsy helped me take all these pics. ;)

living room.

dining room... 

and our oh so lovely flowers from our oh so sweet valentine.

stairs going to kid land.

looking into the kitchen.

and my oh so sweet little kitchen of which I am in love with!! Its the perfect shape, perfect size, perfect amount of counter space....

But- not so perfect space for our huge fridge. My demolition loving husband will soon make room for our fridge... but until then, its gonna be wonky lookin.

We will eventually build an addition onto the back of the house to get the laundry "room" outta the kitchen. 

***HALLELUJAH CHORUS***

My PANTRY.... Ive never had the luxury of a pantry.... and I am TOTALLY loving that aspect of the kitchen. 

Mine and Nats room.

This is upstairs, the girls bedroom...

(dont mind the red towel... hadn't hung the shades yet)

and across the hall is bubba's room.

The Lord has blessed our family. and we are SO fortunate to have this beautiful home, and a hard working daddy who makes it all possible. :)

Ahhhh.

Excuse me as I let out that sigh of relief. 

We've moved... and we are officially town-folk. 

It has been a looong move (aren't they all tho?!?) 

We had stuff in many different locations, in 2 different states, so there were many a trips here and there, but alas, we have all of our stuff under 1 roof.... in 1 location. 

It is relieving!! 

It seems that we were teased with "we will close tomorrow" a few times... and then last Friday, it actually happened!!! 

We've been pretty much going non stop since then!! From sun up to sun down. 

I cannot stop until I've made my house our cozy little corner in the world... I haven't decided if this is a blessing, or a curse. My legs, back and feet would probably vote a curse... 

I must make a shout out to my dear sweetheart, who, as I've unpacked all the boxes, has made trips to NM... got all of our stuff here, spent half a day putting up blinds on the 25 windows of which had NO blinds, fixed stuff, put my garbage disposal in, and pretty much took care of anything "manly." I found myself many times in the past week in awe of the man I married, and all that he accomplished in the name of getting our house fixed up for us. I pretty much LOVE him... and cant thank him enough for all his hard work he put in on his days off.

I've had a pretty wonderful time fixing up the place and seeing all my stuff that I haven't seen in 6 months... Its always fun. 

.....and...

'the kids had Christmas in February when they got all their toys. :)

Anywho... thats a quick update. I've finally sat down long enough to write. Next up on the list is to take pictures of the new place!!!