*gulp*

Well the day came, and I survived!!!

Madelynn's first day of Pre-school!! I got a call on Wed. saying they had a kid drop out... (haha... pre-school drop out... that sounds funny) so we were next in line and could take the spot if we wanted to. I agreed.

Then as it always does, my mind went a bazilion miles an hour contemplating everything... and every reason why she shouldn't go.

She's too young.

The other 2 won't survive without her.

I won't survive without her.

She needs to be at home.

It didn't help that the only support I had (Nat) was walking out the door for a meeting in Odessa for 2 days. I told him before he left I needed him to feed me some positive words of encouragement cuz I was struggling with this decision. He did, then he left... and I was left with my thoughts...

all.night.long.

By the night time I was convinced, and it was final that she was not going. But, After talking with my mom about it, she told me that it was normal to feel like this and it would all be ok!

So I decided we'd see how I felt in the morning and not make a rash decision on my emotions and other peoples opinions. (after an extremely horrible, sleepless night cuz my husband wasn't beside me) I woke up feeling pretty positive about it and when she woke up grinning from ear to ear I knew we needed to go through with it.

We GOT OUT THE DOOR ON TIME!!!!!!

Which is something to be praised (hence all the caps)

I found it was much more successful for me to get up before the kids and get myself, breakfast and the day ready before the 3 little people who depend on me started to run my day. I know, DUH!!! Right?? You'd think I woulda thought of that a long time ago.

Mama, being ready or not, we left! "pakpak" on back, and lunchbox in hand lookin all sorts a cute and grown up.

She was thrilled to pieces. I don't think I've ever seen the girl so happy in my life.

We got there, got a few parental things squared away then off to her classroom we went. Met her teacher... and then... she didn't pay me another lick of attention! Which I guess, is every moms dream! Don't think I could have left her had she been crying for me. (cuz remember, I'm that mom.)

All was well. She kissed all her sibs, told me she loved me, asked her teach if she could color, got the markers and papers, and we left. Any doubts I had were washed away at that moment.

Of course, we got back home and all I could think about was goin and picking her up... but I tried really hard to just enjoy some 1 on 1 time with Payton as I can see that that is something she is lacking as the middle child. We had fun together while Stetson napped.

On our way to get Madelynn, the suburban broke down (whoopdie doo!) So obviously, we were gonna be late.... I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to see and talk to her teacher about the day. I'll look forward to that next Tuesday!

I couldn't get much outta her other than she made a new friend name "e"??? Not sure how accurate that was tho. I enjoyed getting to see her artwork and hearing the few things I could get her to talk about. She was exhausted and conked out as soon as she got in the car.

Looking forward to next Tuesday!!!

The "S" word.

No, no, no... not that S word.

The SCHOOL word.

My dear, sweet Madelynn.... oh that girl.

She needs structure

she desires structure.

she thrives on structure.

She's a very smart little girl and has a great desire to learn.

she begs me for friends.

she wants a teacher.

she wants to get in her little pink car and driver herself to school (yes, she asked)

she wants to leave us!!!!!!!

Awhile back, at her 3 year old check up, there was a little girl... maybe around 6 or 7.... and Madelynn clung to her and told me all about her new "friend" ....This (actually, rather rude) little girl didn't want to pay Madelynn any mind, but Madelynn tried and tried to get the attention of that girl, and rude as she was to Madelynn, she continued to talk about her "new friend" the rest of the day. It was kinda sad, but at the same time it opened up my eyes to a need she has that were not giving her.

So I started calling around to extra extracurricular activities. Dance, gymnastics and stuff like that and she was too young for all of it. I was bummed.

We live in a small town, one without much option for anything at all. No Mother's day outs. Nothing like stuff that is offered in San Angelo... and Hobbs is bigger than where we live, and offers a little bit more than we have... but still doesn't touch the options that you would have in a bigger town. It stinks.

So then Madelynn starting obsessing over school... all the back to school talk and Naynay and kaykay going back to school... its just got her little clock a tickin and she has been begging me to go to school.

Then comes up the topic: Homeschool VS. Public/Private school.

I've prayed about that matter but never like dug in deep and needed to make a decision. Obviously, being homeschool myself, and Nathaniel having also been home schooled.. and us being a Faith based family, and not wanting to conform our children to this world... Homeschool would be the way to go.

But, I just haven't felt the "tug" to homeschool. Especially Madelynn. I've always felt that the decision to homeschool would be dependent on the child and I think if I chose to keep her home, I would be holding her back from her full potential.

Many a phone calls later and making the decision with her daddy, we've decided to take the plunge and let our baby fly! Well... kinda, the one pre-school that we agreed on is called Noah's Ark Pre-school... and there's a waiting list. :/ She's not understanding to well that were gonna be waiting. HOPEFULLY not too long. But, I know that it will all happen in God's timing.

After trying to explain to her that we'll have to be on the waiting list until "They call" and she can go, she says: " mama, dey gonna call.... Ma-lynn, Ma-lynn, Ma-lynn, Ma-lynn you can go to school now." It was sooo funny. She always succeeds in making you laugh.

She is ECSTATIC. She is more than ECSTATIC. if thats possible.

Didn't think I would have this attitude towards the matter, but I really can't wait for to her to go either. I know how great it will be for her.

Soooo....

I had every intention of blogging about the Birthday girl before we left to go on our cruise..... but, as life would have it, we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off from the time we woke up till the time we left and it just never happened. So, before I tell you all about our vacay....

I have to admit this year was sooo much fun cuz she actually had a grasp of what was happening.... and that she had this special day all to herself. The girls have been into the show "Bubble Guppies" if you've never watched it, you should check it out sometime... its a pretty cute little show. I got this wild idea to try and make Madelynn a cake with Oona on it (her fav. character) Although I am entirly to hard on myself on how horrible it turned out... she loved it and it made all the mistakes and frustration worth it in the end.. .and when all was said and done I was so gld to have made her so happy.

We laid everything out in the living room the night before and had everything wrapped up ready for her to open... Well when I awoke at 8 and there was no Madelynn in bed with me, I first thought it was a miracle that she had stayed in bed all night... until I got out of bed and realized she had had her special Birthday Party all by herself. It was pretty funny.

and of course, Bubba had to be a Princess too.

and Im not sure how many gallons of lipgloss 2 little girls can go through in a matter of hours... but I'm pretty sure my girls set some kind of record. You are not a Princess until you're putting lipgloss on.... Therefore, all us girls in the house had beatiful glossed lips ALLLL day long.

... and I'm pretty sure our little tomboy liked the bike more than the Princess did.

Once we took her out and worked with her a bit, she just kept saying: "I wanna go be a princess, mama"

So naturally, I sent her in to get her princess stuff after awhile of giving it a go on the bike... and when she finally came out, she was blue.

and.....

well....

She enjoyed he cake for a little while while we were all outside.

And cuz the icing wasn't sugar rush enough, we came in and had some cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

It was a pretty awesome day filled with fun things Madelynn wanted to do.

I can't believe I have a 3 year old!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply because....

Birth stories are such an amazing thing to read about.... and if you've been around awhile you've probably already read this, maybe even twice!

Without further ado.....

(sorry its so long)

Today, 3 years ago, It was a Saturday and we didnt have much on our agenda. We were having a get together with all the Roses around lunch time and then after that. we HAD to go to town so Nat could get fitted for a tux for a wedding he was in. He had put it off way to long. We had talked about not going to the family get together and just going to town but Sharon REALLY wanted us to go for some odd reason so we just went ahead and went.

So we get to the cabin and walk in (we walked in with Nats mom, dad, and brother and his brothers famiy) and we hear SURPRISE!! What?? surprise ..who in the heck would need a surprise party right now... thats weird.. oh well....

WAIT!! there is baby stuff everywhere, there is a baby cake, baby gifts... this is a surprise for us!! I was soooooo surprised.. I am a pretty sneaky person and it is very hard to surprise me but they got me! So after I realized this party was for Us and our baby, I was rather relieved because my other shower was not till Aug 2 (i think) and I was quite nervous cuz we had absolutely nothing ready for this baby and I was due Aug. 12. So we did the shower thing, played a few games, ate cake, and opened gifts... and hallelujah!! We got a crib, dresser and changing table set. We were sooo happy! We got lots of other great stuff but that was one thing that we desperately needed and I was so relieved.

We left and headed for town and hurried back so we could get all of our goodies set up and ready. Nat went in "the babies room" (as we called it, cuz remember, we didnt know what we were having) and shut the door and informed me not to come in till he said. So I stayed out and kinda cleaned and straightened up, there was stuff EVERYWHERE. Our house was a disaster just from all the goodies everywhere and kinda startin to get stuff ready to go the hospital. I had sat down and made a list of stuff I would need to pack and stuff Nat would need and of course, all the stuff for the baby for the hospital.... after all, I still had pretty much 4 weeks to go. But I planned to pack it all up the next day (sunday) We had also planned to go to church on Sunday and then go to the hospital to register so that when I actually did go into labor, I didnt have to sit and register everything while in labor.

This is what the babies room looked like at this point

Around 11:30 pm, Nat finally comes out and tells me to close my eyes and come in the room. ....

It looked so wonderful!!

and I pretty much looked like this...

humongous... swollen and swollen and not so wonderful...

So we eventually head to bed, house still a crazy mess. We had a small argument about whether or not we would go to church the next day (I know, I know). Nat was very tired and wanted to sleep in. I on the other hand wanted to go to church. We settled with if we wake up in time to go we will go, if not , we would just stay home and head to town later to register at the hospital.

....2:00 in the mornin, were sleepin and I am rudly awakened by a strange feeling. I was wetting the bed!! So I sat up and tried to hold it so I could make it to the bathroom but I couldnt hold it in... Im thinkin ok... what is my problem this is so weird. So I run to the bathroom and I think that I am peeing all over the place, at this point it was gushing out and I am thinking that my bladder exploded and Im gonna die. Once I get to the bathroom and fluid does not stop flowing Im like OMG... what if my water broke?? No way. I still had 4 weeks.. Im not even ready!! At this point, I am standing on a towel trying to figure out how to walk back to the bedroom to wake Nat up without making a horrible mess. I stayed on the towel and kinda slid walked my way to the bedroom. Here is how our conversation went:

Me: Nathaniel.

Nat: *snoring away*

Me: Babe... I need you to wake up...... NATHANIEL!!!

Nat: huh??

Me. I think my water broke (looking back now I laugh at the fact that I said I THOUGHT my water broke)

Nat: huh??

Me: I THINK MY WATER BROKE... CAN YOU WAKE UP AND HELP ME???

Nat: huh..

At this point I walk back to the bathroom a little frustrated and eventually back to try to wake him again

Me: (yelling) BABE. MY WATER BROKE. I NEED YOU TO WAKE UP SO WE CAN GET READY AND HEAD TO THE HOSPITAL

Nat sits up and stares at me with a look on his face like why on earth are you waking me up???

Nat: I told you I didnt want to go to church. Why are you waking me up?

Me: MY WATER BROKE. I DONT WANNA GO TO CHURCH. I WANNA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Nat sits there staring at me with a blank stare for about 2 more minutes I then inform him that he needs to wake up and hear what I am saying.

Nat: (20 minutes later... not even kidding) Your water broke???

Me: YES!! I NEED YOU TO GET UP AND GET OUR STUFF PACKED CUZ I CANT MOVE OFF THIS TOWEL.

Nat got a big grin on his face then went into freak out mode (which I had already been in) Gets outta bed throws his clothes on and yells to me "Are you sure your water broke" " Ya Im pretty sure... either that or my bladder exploded" At this point we are both so super excited and freaking out. I am standing in the bathroom on this towel, packing a few toiletries for us and yelling at Nat what to pack. He is running back and forth from our room to the babies room to the dryer to the babies room as I am thinking of stuff yelling it to him. That is teamwork!! :) I will have everyone know that he packed everything we needed!! He did a great job!

ok so Im in full blown labor. Water is broke, contractions have started and are getting stronger and closer and it does not feel pleasant. Nat grabbed all of our bags and grabbed the car seat throws it all in the car and comes back in to help me out the door and into the car. An hour after my water broke, we were on our way to the hospital. Nat drove 90-100 MPH all the way to and through town. Ran a few stop sigs and red lights. In the mean time, he is timing my contractions and letting me squeeze the blood outta his hand and in between contractions, I am trying to call my mom and let her know it was time and then we called his mom to tell her we were on our way to the hospital (she works in the Nursery at shannon and just so happened to be working that night) We get to the hospital (I am STILL leaking fluids at this point) and we still have to go by registration. That took an eternity.

Finally get up to L & D and get in a room and I am already 4 cm. YA! That was quick and easy.. gimme an epidural and I'll have this baby out in no time!

....Uh sorry... your baby is breech... we'll have to do a c section. So im thinkin ok. Thats fine. Just please give me some medicine. An hour and a half passes as they get stuff ready and get the Dr ready to go. At one time the Dr. comes in and tells me what I can expect and what he will be doing. Then the Anesthesiologist comes in and tells me all that he is gonna do and I can tell you NOTHING as to what they told me. I remember at one point telling my mom I thought she was stupid for doing this 5 times all natural.

Finally, at about 4 somethin I guess (I really have no earthly idea... thats a guess) they come in and wheel me back. Give me that spinal and man... the world was a wonderful place! I layed there and my mind is going a million miles an hour. I remember laying there thinking. I am sooo tired and Its 4 In the morning and this baby is coming. I am going to start this out being super tired and stay super tired cuz newborns dont sleep, I had a little moment of sadness. Then Nat came in so excited and so nervous and he sat there by me. I was shaking like a leaf (just a symptom of the spinal I heard) and I couldnt stop. He was very worried about me and the anesthesiologist told him that I was ok. and that it was normal. After that, I just remember a bunch of pulling and I felt like I was movin all over the place.

Then I heard it. That first cry. mmmh that is the best sound on the face of the earth. I thought to myself... that is my baby! I couldnt believe it! IT was here... oh ya... it... what is it??

So I asked Nat if it was a boy or a girl and he just watched everything they did to her and totally ignored my question. Some time passed and Im like waiting for someone to say ITS A BOY... or ITS A GIRL! Then Finally like 8 hours later the anesthesiologist leaned over and told me it was a girl. He had heard me ask Nat. I later learned that Nat wanted to bring her over to me and tell me it was a girl as I got to see her for the first time.

There she was. 6lb. 1 oz. 18 in long. Born at 5:01 in the mornin. Oh she was so beautiful. Then they took her away and Nat left with her and I was all alone. Finally They wheeled me back to a room and I got to hold her for the first time. She was so peaceful and beautiful and best of all, she was mine. She was goin home with me and was gonna be my daughter forever. We stayed in the hospital for 5 days with her cuz she had jaundice. I was dis- charged 2 days after she was born so at one point, we left her in the nursery and went shopping. Yes, 4 days after I had a c- section, I was at target. But we needed a few things for when we got home and I really wanted to get out of that hospital room. I walked around with such pride. I had a baby. My lifetime dream has come true! I look back now and I love the feeling that I felt while in the hospital and walking around target. What a great memory!

Now, she is 3 years old and she is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. This time with her has been the most wonderful years of our lives. From our battle with brestfeeding, and then our battle with formulas and vomiting, it seemed like it would never end. Then the fact that she was so terribly tongue tied. Ill never forget the day we got her tongue clipped. It was the most terrifying horrible day of my life. Then there was the flu, ear infections, RSV, pneumonia, torticollis. Then the small milestones like sitting up and crawling and waving, seeing her smile for the first time, and hearing her coos for the first time, feeding her baby food, then feeding her real food. Seeing how much she enjoys food. Starting to pull up and take steps around the couch To the fun memories we will always have with our little girl. Our trips to Austin, our trip to the zoo, swimming with her for the first time, Our trip to Abilene, Our trip to New Mexico.... uhh I could go on forever, but I wont cuz Im sure Its plenty long enough.

We love you Madelynn!

Happy Birthday!

Cant wait to see you grow up into a beautiful little girl!

Thank you God for blessing us with a perfect, healthy little girl. May she grow up and love you with all of her heart and seek you all the days of her life! Bless her.

Big girl.

We've been all about Birthday talk round here lately. As I've been making stuff for the kids' party, Madelynn has been all into it, and of course asking me questions, and making requests for her party. She is sooo excited about having a party!! (I just hope people show up) ;) So of course, I've been talking to her about how she is growing up so big and strong. So tonight at supper, she stood up in her booster chair (not a common occurrence... but it was too cute to stop her) and as she slowly stood up she said "I gettin bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger" until she was standing straight up then she said "I'm big like you mama, and you kay kay, and you nay nay." Its just so neat to see her get the concept of growing up and turning another year older. Guess from here on out the parties get FFFUUUNNN and memorable!!

The Princess Madelynn. :)

Miss Priss.

Madelynn is Hi-lar-i-ous lately!!!! I spend most of my day cracking up at some of the stuff she says. I want to remember them forever.

Todays Madelynn-ite:

Along with 'Jesus Loves me' and 'I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart' and family prayer time, Madelynn has now asked to sing The ring of fire by Johnny Cash at bedtime... yep, my child is the one who wants to, and sings Johnny Cash songs all throughout the day, and now at bed time. Its pretty hilarious and its now just become the norm.

I also asked her to sing 'Twinkle twinkle little star' to me... which just so happens to be one of her favorite songs, one that she sings all the time.. and she said "I to wittle mama" It was sooo funny, cuz thats been her excuse for a lot of things... that she's too little.

love, love, love those almond shaped, blue eyes she's got.

Homecoming.

Madelynn is very open with her emotions, which I absolutely love about her because I am the exact opposite and keep a lot bottled in and I hate that about myself. So I am always so happy to see her express her feelings. She can make you feel like a million bucks! She is always so very kind with her words and she's just a sweet girl.

So the other day we were outside playin...

yes in panties.

(Has anyone figured out how to keep clothes on your kids?!? Mine won't keep clothes on to save their lives!!!)

We eventually made it inside to put some clothes on and when we came back out, up drives the Hero of the day... or year! Madelynn thinks her daddy hung the moon and I love that!! Every day when he gets home from work its like he's been gone for a year and its the first time she's been able to hug him and touch him. Its pretty heart warming. She says over and over "you home, daddy" "you home."

Typical Madelynn. She loves to touch your face.

wienerschnitzel

We went to wienerschnitzel today for lunch...

HELP!

My child is growing up right before my eyes and I can't stop it! Madelynn is just blooming into such a wonderful little girl.. and I have a love/hate relationship with it! Here lately every day she says and does stuff and I just think to myself... WHERE DID MY BABY GO?!?! She talks nonstop. She tells what she wants and doesn't want. What she likes and doesn't like. She tell me everything thats important to her. She has all sorts of emotions. Happy, sad, scared, confused. Its like she's becoming less innocent (for lack of a better word) and more "in the know" about life and how it works. That make sense? Just the other day we were at Lowes and she needed to go potty and she very kindly told me she was gonna go potty all by herself and asked me to leave the stall! (WAAAHHH!!!!!) Little things like that happening left and right here lately. Today, she walked outside and went to play on the swingset and she was just a swingin away all by herself. She doesn't need me so much anymore. I'm having a hard time coming to terms that she'll be 3 in two and a half months! Seriously... AGHH! I don't think I can handle her being 3.

My sweet little baby girl.

Denial

I pretty much can't believe what I'm about to say... its another one of those never say never type things. I always said I would never cut my girls' hair cuz it was "too much to take care of." I would always let it be long and beautiful and we would never have battles over fixing hair... nope, never. Go ahead and laugh.

I've been contemplating a haircut for Madelynn for some time now because, as I said... it was becoming a dreadful battle for the both of us. She said "owwww" before I even got the comb on her head... and she ALWAYS has severe tangling and it took a good 30 minutes just to fix her hair everyday. I have asked Nat for some time to ask on of his co-workers (whose wife is a beautician) if his wife cut kids hair. Nat, being Nat... forgot. and forgot. and forgot. I know I could have taken her anywhere else but Im just nervous to take her to someone I don't know, or that someone recommended. So then I got to brainstorming: 1.) I've always wanted to go to cosmetology school. 2.) I do a pretty decent job CUTTING Nat's hair. (Please note I said CUTTING, and not USING THE CLIPPERS. That is one thing I fail at miserably... and poor Nat walks around with a botched haircut.) 3.)How hard could it be?? Her hair is curly and isn't gonna show mistakes. So I gave it a shot. I (tried) to watch utube videos on layering hair and found nothing to what I was wanting. I finally just gave up and decided I would just do what I know. After all, I've gotten my hair layered many times before!

Before

She was really excited the whole time and she did great for a 2.5 year old. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I said "look at the picture".... "look at mama." She got pretty annoyed with me by the end.

After

It turned out sooo cute! and she loved it. She kept looking in the mirror with a huge grin on her face saying "Its butiful mama"

I sent my mom a pic and she mentioned it would look really cute with bangs. I'm really not to much of a bag person but I couldn't help but agree. So we decided to give it a shot. I'm glad I did. They turned out soo cute!

Now, hopefully hair fixing everyday isn't such a task.

P.S. I actually found myself doing double takes between her and Payton now that their hair is the same length. Is that horrible???