Its on!!!

I have never been one to make new years resolutions, mostly because I feel as if I'm setting myself up for failure. Just a personal decision... BUT, this year, I'm at a point in my life where I feel like how could I NOT make a new years resolution... or a "good decision for 2011" as my husband would call it. He's not to hip on the resolution business either.

I believe that to lose weight, you gotta be all in mind, body, and soul... and so I'm not gonna try to lose weight if I'm not 100% with it. Know what I mean?? I've never made it to this point after having a baby without being pregnant again so I've never reached that point where all of me is 100% ready to jump in. Until now that is!!! I'm excited to begin this journey and I hope and pray that I can stick with it and be the person I wanna be.

This just isn't me. I give myself slack in the fact that I have indeed been pregnant for almost 3 years. But, I just really love food! Food makes me happy. (good Lord, I sound like those 800 lb. people you see on tv who can't move cuz their so fat) sorry but its true. I HATE the fact that I'm embarrassed about who I've become. I HATE the fact that I am nervous to see people I haven't seen in years for fear of what they'll think of how much weight I've gained. I HATE the fact that I was embarrassed to go to Nat's Christmas party and have to meet all his fellow employees for the first time and that I was scared that they would think "Nat's wife is bigger than he is"... kinda silly I suppose... and I realize that makes me sound like a selfish person who only cares about what other people think of her, but it goes deeper than that. I kinda sorta care what people think of me (but who doesn't) but only to the extent that I just want to represent my husband, my home, my life, and my name in a good, positive way. I respect myself enough to dress nice, do my make up, and fix my hair when I leave my house. I want to make a good first impression on people. You only make one first impression! I honestly think that it'll bring up my self esteem a lot, and also help me a lot with my 2nd new years resolution.

......which is (tell me if you ever heard this one before??) to TALK more!!! I highly dislike my extent of shyness and once and for all I'm gonna do something about it. I'm gonna force myself to talk around people I don't know. Even if it means I turn the color of a tomato and possibly might have to run to the bathroom to vomit. I've actually really been working on this a lot this month. I talked to a couple people about my "issues" and I've really been trying to work on them. Even Nat has noticed a difference. Simply from talking to someone at the grocery store, or the doctors office, to just saying stuff just to say it to people I know, but don't normally talk to much around.

So heres to 2011, a skinnier, healthier, more talkative ME!!

(prayers and encouragement welcome for this food lovin, no talkin gal!!)