Im...... exhausted. Lately I've been wondering why I struggle with being a mom.. and why I get so stressed out so easily... and why I'm so tired all the time. I'm the kind of person that will pick at something for days and weeks and months till I can find the answer to something. I dont wanna feel these things when it comes to my kids and lately I pretty much feel like I'm the only one on earth feeling frustrated with my life, wondering why I feel like I can't do this. Am I the only one who shows my frustrations when it comes to being a mom?? Is everyone putting on a show when they act hunky dory ALL the time... on facebook, or on blogs. I just don't get it. Should I keep all this to myself?? and "play" happy ALL the time???
Please, dont get me wrong. I love my kids all so dearly and can't imagine my life any other way than it is right this second... I guess I just feel alone. I wonder if it is a bit harder for me because I do have a 2.5, 1.5, and .5 year old. I definitely don't wanna make myself out to be that much better than someone, or my situation being that much worse than someone else's. But I really don't know cuz I've never had a "normal" kid situation.
...or am I really just that lame that I can't handle all my kids and their needs??
Grr... can you tell I'm frustrated?? I know that this is just a season in life... and I know that one day they're gonna be 16, 17 and 18... getting ready to leave the nest and I'm gonna be begging and pleading with them to stay home and bake cookies with me... and I'll promise them that I'll do their laundry for the rest of their lives if only they'll stay home with me forever and ever.
But I supposes in this season I"ll be frustrated from time to time... and I'll blog about it to get some of that frustration out... and wonder why God thought I could handle this ginormo of a situation in life. Let's face it. It is not JUST like having triplets, but its almost like having triplets.
I like to think of Nat and I as Mr. Positive and Mrs. Negative. Like we are both to the extreme! Its absolutely ridiculous that 2 people could be so opposite. Nat NEVER gets frustrated with his situations in life. The #1 thing that we struggle with as a couple is this. He absolutely cannot comprehend how I can be so negative about life and it frustrates him to no end. Same on my end... I cannot stand how positive he is about everything. He has 1 bad day outta the year and thats it. Makes me sick! So like any (sickly) positive person does, he tries so hard to get me to look at the positive in my negativeness. So here ya go... Although I feel down in the dumps, I'm gonna take his challenge and write some positive things about my life right now.
-My kids are that close and they'll be best buds their whole lives.
-My kids are that close and all the hard junk is getting done right now.
-I do get to stay home with them and I don't have to work and send them to day care.
-Although we do live in a 500 sq. foot house... we live in a house! and we have a roof over our heads, and we are together.
-Although we absolutely DO NOT deserve it, God does take care of us.
-We have some pretty exciting things goin down in the Rose household right now.
-My kids have been in TX. since Monday and it has pretty much been the most refreshing thing for me. It has reminded me that I do need them, and love the fact that I live and breath for them. I hope when we get back to them, I can come back and tell you that I can't believe I was ever frustrated with them... :)
Oh my soul how I miss them! Didn't realize how much 'till I looked at pics of them.
my beautiful girls!
"hi, Im a 23 year old trapped in a 2 year olds body. I like to strut when I walk and I'm kinda a big deal."
My sweet daddy's girl.
My chubb-a-lub little man
Prepare yourself for this one... Are you ready??
Holy cow have you ever seen something some freakin adorable???
He's such a man with his little brown boots, and button up shirt on!
I know, I know, I'm retarded and the picture probably doesn't do to you what it does to me. I guess thats just a part of being the momma.
Ahh.. so maybe its does help to see some positive in life.
well first off, you aren't alone. i have the same trouble you do...all the time. i call your poor brother at work at least once a week complaining about something. bless his heart. i get into ruts where i feel like im the only person in the world going through this child-rearing business. but obviously it's not true. so then i think i just suck at it. everyone else is happy and got it all together and having a grand ole time with life, and im sitting here thinking about running away or hiding under the bed or playing in traffic. so i just do the only thing i know to do...and that's to CHILL OUT! take a deep breath and keep on trucking and count down the minutes until ty gets home. and that's my favorite part of the day! when ty gets home! everything is always better after that...maybe for you too. i always talk out my troubles with him and he listens.
ReplyDeleteanyway. i know what you are going through. maybe not exactly seeing as i dont live in a tiny trailer (i would probably be suicidal) and ty doesn't work near as much as nat. and i dont have three little bitty kids...yet. but i kinda know. so...there. you aren't alone. it will get better. life does go on. that's what they tell me, anyway.
Aww, Mara. I feel your pain. Even though we love this life there are still those days where you think you just won't survive. Glad you are getting a little break...sometimes that's all it takes. I'm reading a book called Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It might be just what you need to get back on track and to be reminded that it is WORK but that you are CREATED for it! You are a great mom!
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