So, for about mmm... 4 months now, we have not been goin to church. (except a few exceptions) I know, we are heathens. Its been hard. I dont know why we dont go. I have such a desire to get involved and to make friends that we can ralate to. (That is kinda hard seeing as we are 20 and 21 and have a kid. People our age are going to college and not thinking about having a family for years.) I know that I make it hard because I am so quite and shy, so people just arent flocking towards me. If ya know what I mean. I hate that I am like that and wish I could change it. I want to get into a home group that we can go to every week. I want Madelynn to be in church and my heart is so heavy knowing that she has not been. I feel very guilty about it. I know that she is only 7 months old and more than likely she will be in the nursery, you may think that it sounds dumb but I guess its just the way I am.
I have just been frustrated about this and its been on my mind alot, and I know that it is God tuggin on my heart. We just need to answer. This is probably more for me to write down my feelings than for your enjoyment of reading. Im just askin that ya'll would pray for us in this time, and I will continue to pray about it and seek God on what He would have us to do.
Sorry if this is depressing, maybe this will help. :)
off to shopping for a wedding gift for the Rose to be.
Don't feel guilty! That's not from God. ;-) Romans 8. I am glad that you want your baby girl to grow up to be a woman of God!! Sometimes, its just hard to get connected. Hang in there. You are a great mama and wife!! I am praying for you both!
ReplyDeleteMara, I've just had time to catch up on all your recent posts. You write so well and girl, you are hilarious!! I just laugh out loud sometimes. Love reading about your life. The Lord will show you when and where to get plugged in. We went through something very similar when we were newlywed/new parents. It's just difficult to find a place where you are all comfortable and can serve. It'll happen! Keep talking to the Lord. I'm praying for y'all. He will answer. And keep writing it out -- that does help -- at least it helps me to "say it out loud"!!
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