School Days.

Well, we are knee deep in the school year... and as I said in a previous post, we are NOT adjusting well. 

WHEW!

Take a mama and her 3 wee children who have lived by their own schedule for the past 4 years and throw in some SERIOUSLY early times that none of us have ever known in those 4 years... and there are a LOT of grouchy people. I am waiting. 

Patiently 

Very patiently for this to become our "normal." 

Between Nat and my mom, I have a ton of help getting Madelynn to and from school so it is SO nice to not have to get Payton and Stetson up early every morning. 

But, Miss Madelynn is REALLY enjoying school and even though she tells me in the mornings, her eyes don't wanna open, she still has the desire to go to school. 

I have the privilege of receiving special little texts from my mom and/or dad... and I get little clips of her day. Like her sweet little angel self sleeping at school. 

I got to go eat lunch with her and Cash.. and I look forward to many more lunches with them. ;)

She is NOT an early morning person.

but she is mighty cute. :)

How am I?? 

Oh, thanks for asking.

I'm still on the edge of being OK... Some days I'm good... and some days, like days when she asks me to walk her in... I am NOT ok. 

... and I leave worried and uptight, and nervous, and scared, and sad. 

Usually cuz she asks me to stay and it wrenches my heart to have to go.

I still deal with guilt on a daily basis... I just want to know...

IS THIS NORMAL??

I hate feeling like this... 

All the other parents walk around all hunky dory happy... and I just wanna shake them and ask:

"How are you feeling so OK??

Do you have guilt?

Why do I have guilt??

HELP!!!"

Anyways.... so ya, I'm a freak. 

I don't know if all this is cuz she is only 4... and technically doesn't have to be in school all day, 5 days a week. Or if I feel guilty, as if I am supposed to be homeschooling her. I just don't know. 

But, bottom line, she is happy. She loves it. 

Its my momma heart that is the issue...