**In the post, I use the words stay at home mom as that's the only experience I've had as a mom.. Never been a working mom so I'm not in any way saying being a SAHM is harder than being a working mom.
Gonna be honest here... One thing that Nat and I struggle (for lack of a better word) with as a couple is the fact that he doesn't understand where being a SAHM is stressful, tiring, or hard. (I know, I know, I hear all you SAHMom's laughing now.) So... I often feel like my needs are put on the back burner and I often feel under-appreciated for what I do.
To clear things up, I understand and realize the hugenormous sacrifice being a mom is... I realize that many times everyone will get up from the dinner table without so much as a thanks mom... I realize that many times will no one appreciate that clean shirt they just put on. I realize that drinking out of a clean cup is just something you do... We as children (yes I am guilty) don't realize that our mom's spent hours out of her day washing, drying, folding and putting away our clothes... Or that for the 15th time today she's washing dishes. Or that that meal you just ate didn't cook itself. Every single time my family gets up from the dinner table, doesn't clear their plates, or push their chairs in... my heart turns to my mom... and I regret how many times I got up from the dinner table without saying THANK YOU for taking the time to make us a nice hot meal.. oh a nd it was wonderful!
So all this to say.. Personally, I don't think you can know till you've done it.. day in and day out. It has its ups and its downs... and for the most part its all ups. But there are bad days, there are bad weeks. There are times when its mentally draining... the fighting, the falls, the scrapes, the blood, the meals made day in and day out, the dishes, the laundry, the discipline. It drains you as a human. Your constantly thinking of your kids safety, monitoring what they take in from the TV, making sure you keep them fed so that they never have to be hungry, watching their sugar consumption, making sure diapers are clean, and the list goes on and on. My mind is always on my kids.
There are times when you wanna have a conversation with someone over the age of 18. Sometimes you just wanna not watch Nick Jr... and sometimes, God forbid... you just wanna go to the bathroom ALONE! Anyone know what I'm talkin bout?!? I can't ever find the words to talk to my dear husband about this matter cuz he just doesn't get it... then I came across this article.
Stay-At-Home vs. Working Parents
Questions to help spouses bridge the communication gap
By Heather Rigby
My husband always asks how my day went. And he really wants to know. He’s nice like that. As we slowly push the girls around in the stroller, he shares what went right during his day at the office, and I share funny things the kids said. On bad days we vent stresses and offer support and advice.
But lately I can’t help wondering if when I mention that my day was sort of stressful, he mentally thinks, “Yeah, my days are like that too.” Because I really don’t think that our days have the same sort of stresses.
When you decide to become a stay-at-home parent, you enter into a different realm — one ruled by illogical two-year-old dictators, school schedules, and choosing the correct color yogurt. As much as I can explain this to my husband, I don’t know that I’m getting through. Now I’ve done the next best thing: creating a list of questions that will help him and other office-bound parents gauge how (cough, cough) similar their days are to ours.
When you walked into work this morning and pleasantly greeted your co-worker Jim, was his first reaction to scream “NO! WANT JASON!" followed by an office supply being thrown at you?
Has a colleague ever climbed up on your lap while you were using your computer and slammed the keyboard with both fists until the up arrow no longer worked?
Do you have to lock yourself in the supply closet or bathroom on a regular basis in order to make phone calls?
Did you finish a complete thought at any time during the day?
When you went out to lunch with your fellow workers, did you have to pack a diaper/juice/extra outfit for them? Did you have to wipe their faces? Smile an apology and leave an extra tip for the waiter on their behalf?
When a co-worker needed you for something, did she sit at her desk with her head tilted back toward the ceiling and repeatedly scream “SEAN! SEEEEANNNN! SEAAAAAAN!” until you came to find him?
When you needed a specific colleague, did you search all over for him, only to finally find him giggling in the cabinet under the sink? Did you also find six pairs of your church shoes under there with him?
Have you had to come to an associate’s aid because she fell off her desk after trying to climb on top of it using a rolling chair?
When you reached for the report a co-worker was handing you, did he snatch them away at the last second and scream “MINE!” while shoving you backwards?
Does your colleague lift up her shirt and pick things out of her belly button every time she comes over to ask a question?
While you are using the restroom, do various co-workers come in the stall and ask you to settle a disagreement or open a packet of fruit snacks?
During a board meeting when everyone is present, do you notice a smell and then have to check all your colleagues’ pants to locate it? In fact, at ANY point in your day do you have to deal with another person's feces?
If the answer to most of these questions is no, it’s a safe bet to assume you’re in an office. That said, if your answer to most of these questions is yes, and you know you’re in an office, it’s safe to assume you might need a new job.
My heart is for all you stay at home moms out there! Keep up the good work and keep on truckin, even when it seems like no one notices all you do.
