(one month shy of) Irish triplets.

To be 150% honest with you, I haven't felt the urge to blog lately. I've kinda been in a fog lately.

Im...... exhausted. Lately I've been wondering why I struggle with being a mom.. and why I get so stressed out so easily... and why I'm so tired all the time. I'm the kind of person that will pick at something for days and weeks and months till I can find the answer to something. I dont wanna feel these things when it comes to my kids and lately I pretty much feel like I'm the only one on earth feeling frustrated with my life, wondering why I feel like I can't do this. Am I the only one who shows my frustrations when it comes to being a mom?? Is everyone putting on a show when they act hunky dory ALL the time... on facebook, or on blogs. I just don't get it. Should I keep all this to myself?? and "play" happy ALL the time???

Please, dont get me wrong. I love my kids all so dearly and can't imagine my life any other way than it is right this second... I guess I just feel alone. I wonder if it is a bit harder for me because I do have a 2.5, 1.5, and .5 year old. I definitely don't wanna make myself out to be that much better than someone, or my situation being that much worse than someone else's. But I really don't know cuz I've never had a "normal" kid situation.

...or am I really just that lame that I can't handle all my kids and their needs??

Grr... can you tell I'm frustrated?? I know that this is just a season in life... and I know that one day they're gonna be 16, 17 and 18... getting ready to leave the nest and I'm gonna be begging and pleading with them to stay home and bake cookies with me... and I'll promise them that I'll do their laundry for the rest of their lives if only they'll stay home with me forever and ever.

But I supposes in this season I"ll be frustrated from time to time... and I'll blog about it to get some of that frustration out... and wonder why God thought I could handle this ginormo of a situation in life. Let's face it. It is not JUST like having triplets, but its almost like having triplets.

I like to think of Nat and I as Mr. Positive and Mrs. Negative. Like we are both to the extreme! Its absolutely ridiculous that 2 people could be so opposite. Nat NEVER gets frustrated with his situations in life. The #1 thing that we struggle with as a couple is this. He absolutely cannot comprehend how I can be so negative about life and it frustrates him to no end. Same on my end... I cannot stand how positive he is about everything. He has 1 bad day outta the year and thats it. Makes me sick! So like any (sickly) positive person does, he tries so hard to get me to look at the positive in my negativeness. So here ya go... Although I feel down in the dumps, I'm gonna take his challenge and write some positive things about my life right now.

-My kids are that close and they'll be best buds their whole lives.

-My kids are that close and all the hard junk is getting done right now.

-I do get to stay home with them and I don't have to work and send them to day care.

-Although we do live in a 500 sq. foot house... we live in a house! and we have a roof over our heads, and we are together.

-Although we absolutely DO NOT deserve it, God does take care of us.

-We have some pretty exciting things goin down in the Rose household right now.

-My kids have been in TX. since Monday and it has pretty much been the most refreshing thing for me. It has reminded me that I do need them, and love the fact that I live and breath for them. I hope when we get back to them, I can come back and tell you that I can't believe I was ever frustrated with them... :)

Oh my soul how I miss them! Didn't realize how much 'till I looked at pics of them.

my beautiful girls!

"hi, Im a 23 year old trapped in a 2 year olds body. I like to strut when I walk and I'm kinda a big deal."

My sweet daddy's girl.

My chubb-a-lub little man

Prepare yourself for this one... Are you ready??

Holy cow have you ever seen something some freakin adorable???

He's such a man with his little brown boots, and button up shirt on!

I know, I know, I'm retarded and the picture probably doesn't do to you what it does to me. I guess thats just a part of being the momma.

Ahh.. so maybe its does help to see some positive in life.

Week 3

(of dieting) was the absolute WORST! and I was sure that I gained 40 lbs. I didn't eat the greatest, not that I ate junk all day long, I just really struggled with being hungry. I only worked out like one time! I felt like I got a big F for this week... but when I got on the scale this morning, I had to rub my eyes, I had to weigh again, I did not believe what I saw....

I lost 6.8 lbs this week!

for a grand total of 12.8 lbs!!!

Nothing like a little incentive to keep up the hard work!! I wasn't sure how I would take getting on the scale and not losing anything, or even worse, gaining...

...and I got a new toy!! I've had my eye on this since I was pregnant with Payton and I finally got it!! Since God has blessed us financially, its kinda nice to be able to get all those "dreams"... per say. All those things I've always wanted, but never been able to afford. Now, I'm not in any way saying I'm gonna go out and by myself a brand new vehicle, or look for the greatest, most expensive house, or dress my kids any different. I just mean the little things. Like getting the double stroller I've always wanted, or a bed spread I've had on my eye on. Just simple little stuff.

and it just so happened that my hunny was home when it was delivered to he put it together for me.

This is a pretty awesome little deal. Its like an Ipod speaker. You hook your ipod up to it and it plays your music on the little speaker. Pretty neat for a mom exercising with her kids. Just throw it in the stroller and go for a nice walk!

I know this isn't the greatest pic in the world but our "living room" is so small I couldn't even get the whole effect. .. then when we went to use it that night, I forgot my camera. Its pretty sweet. You can switch the seats any which way you want! I love this stroller cuz they can face each other and its so smooth! Definitely would recommend if your in the market for a double stroller.

Sharing is caring.

Payton loves to share with her bubba.

(he's not sleeping. Just having a sucker jammed down his throat, thats all)

So far Stetson has had the pleasure of trying: fruit snacks, smarties, plastic, and now a sucker. She's such a good big sister. :)

Just cuz...

Cuz My beautiful girl is growin up waaay to fast.

Cuz my middle girl makes my life so bright.

Cuz my little man is so wonderfully chubby and happy.

Just cuz I love 'em to death and wanna remember every second of my life with them right now!!!!

Week one.

My goal in my weight loss journey is to document at the end of each week. Whether its a great week, or a crappy week, I'm gonna write it down.

This week after starting weight watchers and working out everyday on the wii fit for 30-45 minutes. I've lost a total of....

4 LBS!!!

I was/am really really proud of myself for that. I have been very consistent every day with my eating, drinking, and working out habits. One ginormous thing that I know helps me out tremendously is cutting out sweet tea, and Dr. pepper. I NEVER used to drink either... but I married the Dr. pepper king... who also happens to LOVE sweet tea.... and just like that I got in the habit of drinking the both on a daily basis.

One thing that I learned this week is that my body has been LIVING off of sugar and caffeine. Horrible, I know.... so I have had to, in a sense, detox from that and that was/kinda still is hard! It has gotten a lot better thats for sure. The great thing about weight watchers is you don't have to completely cut bad stuff out, like breads, cokes, sweets. YES, the point in dieting is to NOT eat/drink that kinda stuff. But for me personally, I am a big sweet eater, and I just so happen to love bread, so to still be able to eat that stuff in a healthier (frozen yogurt, wheat) way is just what way that I need to diet. You get a certain amount of points each day, and your goal is to not go over that amount. So far, I've managed to stay well under every day, and not be hungry.

Here's to week 2! Hope its even better!

5

Today, my Stetson is 5 months old!! Oh my sakes alive, I know I've said it before but that boy... mmm that boy. I just love him... and I personally think that he is the cutest little boy I have laid eyes on... but I am a bit biased, I'll admit. I just wanna squeeze his head off. I won't, of course.

\

At 5 months Stetson:

-FINALLY rolled over this morning, for the first time. I have been reading a little on preemie babies and their development because I was wondering why he hadn't even tried to roll over yet. I learned that preemie's have 2 different ages. One being their actual age (5 months) and the other being their "supposed to be" age (4 months). I really don't know for sure if he is later at this than the average baby because my MIL brought up a good point, we have been traveling so much and here and there and everywhere and he really hasn't had the time to have the amount of floor time he should be having. So I will be interested to see when he makes other developmental milestones from here on out.

-16 lbs.

-size 4 diapers

-size 6-12 months clothes

-Size 2 shoes

-7 oz.'s

-so so very ticklish, especially under his neck

-Loves to sit up in the boppy and be on the floor with his sissy's

-dislikes laying

-STILL waking in the night once or twice.

-Has to have a blanket wrapped up around his face to sleep soundly.

-Yes, this gives his mother anxiety because his face is almost always covered up.

-When he gets tired, hungry, or mad, he gets his hands up to his head and scratches and scratches vigorously, resulting in severe scratches on his head and forehead. Seems kinda like an anger thing than him trying to itch it. That is part of the reason the blanket goes up around his head, I wrap his hands in it to avoid him scratching himself.

-Will sit and watch the girls for forever! He especially has a liking for Payton.

-Daddy's voice completely catches him. The second Nat walks in the door, Stetson can be throwing a fit and he will immediately stop and look for his daddy.... and once he catches daddy's face he will follow him with a huge grin on his face until he can't see him anymore.

-Always so happy, and only fusses when he's hungry.

-Has had cereal mixed with apple juice which he liked, banana's which he, so far, doesn't to much care for. At first he spit them out every single bite. About half way through he started to actually swallow and not make faces.

and an interesting fact: Today exactly 1 year ago I found out I was pregnant with Stetson.

Also today marks 5 years that Nat and I have been together!!!

January 6, 2006. Nat and I had been pretty good friends for a good year or so at this point. Nat was on vacation in NM, I was in my bedroom supposed to be sleeping but we were texting. Which by the way, Nat payed a pretty hefty fine for. That was back when texting was new... and apparently neither of us knew that we DID NOT have unlimited texting.. and we were texting like CRAZY! Nat proved himself right then and there when he paid mine and his outrageous cell phone bills. :) Anyways... (yes he totally asked me to be his girlfriend over text.. I still tease him about that one) for Christmas I had given him a card... and I went waaaay out on a limb (which is so not like me, but it turned out to be a good thing!) The card said All I want for Christmas is... then you opened it and their was a mirror... Get it?? From the year that we were friends, I knew that he was the one that I had waited, and prayed for for so many years. So I was kinda wanting to be more than just friends... and I could soooo tell that he liked me. He told me much later, like after we were married that that Christmas card made him make the move (go me!!). Anyways, he texted me and told me that he honestly, and sincerely loved me and he wanted to know if I would be his girlfriend. I, obviously, said YES! I then (honest to gosh) went and threw up cuz I was so nervous. Then I woke up my sister and told her and then I never went to sleep. He got back from his trip and we had our first little date at Sonic. He brought me a rose and a box of trinkets that he had gathered for me while on his trip. I still have that box still with everything in it... I also still have the rose he gave me.

Isn't that sweet?? That text message that I had saved on my phone until my phone broke meant so much to me and I went back and read it every single day. And that spot at Sonic where we had our first date still brings butterflies to my stomach to look at, and to remember that sweet night where we first began. I remember being soooo nervous that he was gonna kiss me. Silly, I know, but I just love the memories.... and I love that guy. He means so much to me 5 years later! God has brought us a million miles from 5 years ago. Not only that fact that we now have 3 kids together, but in our relationship. How we've grown and matured together. Its been a fun ride my love! Lets keep on truckin!!

P.S. Don't worry, he DIDN'T kiss me on the first date.

Good day gone bad.

I have been waiting, praying, and hoping for a nice warmish day so that we can get out and go to the park. So when I took the trash out this morning and felt how wonderfully pleasant it was a got all kinds of excited cuz today would FINALLY be the day we would get to go to the park. So I came in and starting the hour long process of getting the 4 of us ready, I even took the time to pack a little picnic for the girls. I was sooo excited that the day had come. So off we went to the park. Madelynn was soooo excited and just couldn't stop talking about going and playing at the park. Got Stetson in the stroller and grabbed the diaper bag (not sure why I did cuz I never would have... but later so thankful that I did) and we were off. The girls were bein all sorts of cute walking up to the park.

They really love to hold hands. They initiate it quite often without any of us saying a word and it melts my heart every time!! When we pray at meals, and before bed, P is always reaching for her sissy's hand. Its so sweet.

Anyways, back to the story, so I finally get Stetson situated in the stroller where I can see him and follow the girls around and help them... and take pictures... cuz I just don't seem to have enough on my computer.

Madelynn's all the way at the highest point of the play area and she's just laughin and giggling with excitement.

Payton is kinda staying lower, close to me. Then I mutter the words that I soon regret. I asked the girls to go down these double slides together. (The end of the slide wasn't your average height. I'm not a short gal, and I'd say it was probably up to my hip. On a regualr slide you have to bend over to catch your child, this one there probably would be no need!) So Payton stopped and looked up at her sister, waiting for her to come slide. Just as soon as she turns back towards me, she slips and lands flat on her back and goes flying down the slide. I mean flying like someone had waxed it or something. So fast that I was standing just to the side of the slide and before I could even process what was happening, and go catch her fall, she was down the slide, and her body went completely horizontal (up in the air) to where she was laying on her tummy... and thats just how she landed, flat on her face. My immediate thought was -Oh my, this isn't going to be a good outcome-. A tad scared of what I might pick my daughter up and see, I grabbed her and immediately blood was everywhere! All over me, all over her shirt, so I run over to the diaper bag and get some wipes and she immediately bleeds through one. I try to stop the bleeding as best I can to see what happened. Then I realize she has bit through her lip a tad and I start to panic. Here I am, at the park all alone with my 3 kids, and my child is bleeding like crazy.... As my mind is running a million miles an hour trying to figure out what to do I remembered I had got my sister-in-law's phone number out of Nat's phone just the other day. So I called her and asked her to call one of her daughters to come help me. Payton finally stopped bleeding, and I got everything loaded up then I ran the kids over to their cousin's house house, and hurried to the ER with Payton. She finally got all calmed down and I could see that from the park, to the ER, the gash had closed up tremendously and I felt so much better. They checked her out and decided it would do more harm than healing to stitch it, so just let it heal itself. I was so grateful!! I was not looking forward to that if it were to need to be done. Her nose was swollen and bloody, she has a pretty good size gash on the inside of her bottom lip, and a smaller one on the outside, her frenulum was busted, a cut between her nose and lip and a scraped up chin and nose.

This was her at the ER.

We picked up the other 2 munchkins and I dropped them off at home with Nat so I could run to the Post Office real quick and when I got home, this is what Payton was doing:

I was really worried about her eating and drinking so I was really relieved to see her eating! Cleaning her up was a different story. :)

By that night, she was already looking a ton better

only my Payton...