relationship 101

So, as I have said before, I am NOT married to Mr. romantic. Im just about married to the opposite. Every girl wants to be surprised with flowers every once in awhile, or to be taken out on a date that he planned. Or to be told you look good... just every once in awhile. Nat absolutely 100% struggles with this kinda stuff... well maybe struggle is the wrong word. He absolutely 100% does not do any of it! I guess I am the one that struggles with it. (uh-oh... confession time) But it honestly upsets me... I have talked to him about it and asked him to try a teeny weeny bit because a) I have a low self esteem. and b) Im overweight and being overweight in our world is ugly and it would probably help me out all around if he acted like I was important to him...

Woa man did God slap me when I thought that. He said you are important to him and he does think that you are the most beautiful thing in the world. And he loves the fact that your not a beanpole (its true, he does.) God told me to look for the little things that he does for me... thats Nats way of showing his love. The fact that he has opened every single door for me since before we were dating. The fact that he has kissed me every time he has opened the car door for me since we were dating. Thats Nat giving me flowers. Or like when Im having a conversation with my mom about Tiger Woods and all the junk he is going through, and my mom makes a comment about how beautiful his wife is and how it seems like men with beautiful wives are always the ones that have affairs and Nat just happens to walk by and hear the conversation and says "who says Im gonna have an affair on you???" Thats Nat giving me a compliment. Or when he is making his lunch for the next days work and he calls me in the kitchen and shows me that that he put an M with the mayonnaise on all 4 slices of the bread "for his baby" (thats me.) Thats Nat's way of telling me I'm his. The fact that he tells me ALL the time how much he loves me! Some people dont get told "I love you" I get told many times a day! He never hangs up the phone until he says I love you. He never goes to bed without telling me he loves me. He never leaves for work in the morning until he tells me he loves me.

So the moral of my story is to look for the small things, dig deep and find your significant others way of loving you...

and i LOVE him!

Never say never...Part 2

Once again... I did something I said I would NEVER do when I had kids.

I put my child on a leash. I would always look at those people that had a leash on their kid and think.. how ridiculous... they cant even control their kids (please note.. once again, that I DO NOT think this anymore) Their just plain 'ol amazing! We were able to let Madelynn walk around, but not wonder off and get lost. She loved being able to walk around the mall... and we loved letting her have that freedom and also being able to control her at the same time. If you have small kids that are about that age.. I would definitely recommend getting one!

While we were doin some shoppin, we decided to get Paytons ears pierced... I know, how mean right?? Trust me, she'll thank us when she is older. She did soooo good! She only really cried when they were trying to hold her down.... The girl dont like to be held down thats for sure!! She cried for like 5 seconds after she did each ear and after that she was perfectly fine! She did alot better than Madelynn did!

I made Nat hold Payton since I had already had my go at it with Madelynn

all done! Gettin 'em cleaned. As you can tell, we had quite the audience. There was a ton of people watching. It was kinda... awkward. Am I so mean to take this picture?? :)

all done! a sucker made it so much better.

(pardon Nats face.)

Madelynn got a sucker too and would take a lick and then put it over for Payton to have a lick. (She rarely got it in P's mouth) but she was sooo sweet bout it!!

Speaking of my sweet little Madelynn... She has like discovered that Payton is a real person... and she can like play with her. Its so neat to watch!! Its what I have been waiting for since P was born!! They are starting to interact and laugh with each other. Madelynn brings her toys to play with and she rubs P's head and she (tries to) feed Payton everything she eats. I love it!!

Did you notice that I addressed my Madelynn as sweet??? and not a nightmare?? Must have just been the craziness of Christmas and never being home for nap time. . Oh... and she did get a tooth barely popping through the gum. Are you kidding me??? all that for one stinkin tooth????? I really hope that some more pop though these comin days or else I might take her to the dentist and have them remove every single tooth under her gums and give her dentures for the rest of her life! Im only joking... but she has done sooooo much better and has been much more pleasant since we've stayed on a strict schedule

there she is... my sweet little happy Madelynn.

Christmas... and picture over-load!

**I promise I had every intention on NOT putting a ton of pictures on this post, but I failed.

Christmas morning we woke up and the girls (madelynn) opened her presents. Of course, to her it was just another day except today she woke up and got bunches of new stuff.

Paytons one and only gift. :) Seriously... If we had a hundred bucks that we had to spend on her, we absolutely could not do it! She has MORE than enough clothes and all the toys she could ever want. I know that when she gets older, and gets into her own things Christmas will be easier... for now hand me downs is the thing for Ms. Payton. Is that bad????

oh wait... she DID get some new clothes, only because she can finally fit into the size clothes that Madelynn can. Most stores around town have like a baby section and then like 6 months and up section... now that she can fit on 6 months clothes, I can finally get them matching clothes.. I know, I get excited about the dumbest things.

yes, we did... and yes, its pink

and yes, we'll have to teach her some gun manners.

After we were done with our little family Christmas, we went over to Karl and Crystals for Christmas with Nats family. We had some delicious breakfast and then opened gifts.

Madelynn was playing with Kiana. At this point, Kiana got Madelynns paci and Madelynn was chewing on Kianas dog bone. I got the picture right as Madelynn realized the dog had her paci so she threw the bone down... but she WAS in deed chewing on it. Imagine that, my child who loves to eat dog food likes dog bones as well.

Crystal made the girls these blankets. When Madelynn opened it, she layed right down with it, ready for a nap!

P slept this one away.

Madelynn got this rocking horse, her pink gun, and some cowboy boots so she is all cowgirl'ed up... Ready to ride away in the sunset.

P also got this for Christmas! Woo hoo!! Dont you see all the fun were gonna have at dinner time?? Ahhh I love it!!!

After that, we headed home for a real quick (not long enough) nap and then headed to my parents house for a BYOSK kinda dinner. Can you figure that one out?? I'll give you a hint.. it involved steak. It was DELICIOUS!!!! I have 2 pictures from that day... Ugh... so mad at myself once again. So rather than showing you pictures, i'll just have to tell you what we got. Madelynn got a stick horse that whinnies and gallops... and when you push the button, she bounces like she would if she were riding a horse... its so cute!! My sisters got her this adorable vest, but ended up being a little to small.. so we took it back. (Did yall know that our old navy is closing??? Is that the worst news you ever heard or what?? That is pretty much the only place I shop for the girls... Ugh... crazy.) Anyways... so they didnt have the size we needed and didnt have anything else either.. all the shelves are so bare... so I guess I'll have to look online. She also got some new jammies and earrings.

P got the cutest shirt ever! She also got the cutest towel ever with her name on it. I love it!!! (I'll get a picture of it next time she gets a bath.)

(There horseshoes in case you cant tell.)

Jedd and Payton

Cash and Madelynn

and the most important thing of all (ya right) is what I got... the thing that I wanted most this Christmas was The Pioneer Woman cookbook!!!! Im so excited. When Im done with this, Im 'onna go look through it and find something for dinner!!! I also got some boots... which was something else that I really have been wanting. I love them!!!!

Nat got a cowboy hat

whew man does he look handsome or what???? I think so. :)

We all got tons of gift cards... so we'll be doin some serious shoppin' these comin weeks! Like drop your kids off and go to hobby lobby for hours all by yourself kinda shoppin! I cant wait!!

All in all we had a WONDERFUL, Christmas! The one thing that has gone through my head with all this wonderful stuff we got is how dadgum spoiled our family is... then I thought to myself... no, were not spoiled were BLESSED!

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY JESUS!!! Thank you for coming to this earth and living to die for us. The ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for giving us life!

Christmas eve

Wow.. pardon my lack of blogging! Its been awhile. I feel like I have tons of stuff to blog about so I think that I will do it slowly, rather than an overload on one blog.

Hmm... where to start, I feel like we have been so busy... we have not been home in forever! Lets see... on the 23rd, we were gonna go finish our Christmas shopping, yes were some of the crazy people that FINISH 2 days before Christmas... not that this is a common thing, just have had absolutely no time to do anything between sickness and hospital stay. Payton ended up going with her nana and papa (nats parents) and Madelynn went with her mimi and papa (my parents) My sisters have been begging to have a sleepover with Madelynn and my -not a night owl- mother finally agreed.

Before I go any further I must tell you something. Madelynn has always been like... the perfect child. Not bragging... she has just always been quite, always listens well, goes to bed on her own, just an easy schmesy kinda kid when it comes to everything... but lately , she has been an absolute nightmare! Whiney all day long, taking little 20 minute naps that are usually 2 hours, not eating well, fussy, whiney, fussy, whiney, cry, cry, cry, disobedient, basically everything opposite from my sweet little Madelynn. It has thrown us for a loop. We are totally not liking it at all. So I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what her deal is and these are the few things I have come up with: a) Teeth... but how the heck am I to know... she only has 4, and all 4 of those I had no clue what was goin on on the inside of her mouth.. just knew she was acting like this.. just not quite to this extent. I did some serious lookin in her mouth and I can see like little white buds under her gums. Does that mean they are coming in??? Seriously I need some answers!!!!!! b) complete sugar overload. I know that that has some to do with her horrible eating.. today I have given her no sweets and its been a somewhat more enjoyable day. and c.) Just plain 'ol startin up bein a toddler. Lord please NO!!!!!! We'll see, now that life is going to slow down and we'll be back on her schedule for eating and napping I am really hoping she gets back to normal!!

Anyways... back to our life. Christmas eve we woke up all alone. It was so nice to sleep in and not have to worry about the girls. We went and ate breakfast at grandys all by ourselves... the snow that morning was beautiful!! Although nothing really stuck, It was nice to watch it. We did a little more shoppin that morning and went home and startin makin some Christmas goodies.... just what we needed in the house, more sweets! Im a pretty big sweet eater and Im serious when I say that I am just about sweeted out! We enjoyed having some time together just the 2 of us. We eventually got our girls (that we missed terribly) back and went to Christmas Eve with ALL the Roses and... I forgot my camera. I was sooooo mad at myself! Santa (aka Uncle Karl) came and visited and Madelynn absolutely freaked out. It was a fun time visting with family. Madelynn is pretty much the first girl for the Roses in like 20 years so she was not so much into playing with all them boys... There have been 2 more (one being Payton) girls born since Madelynn so once they are older, Im sure they'll have their own little girly stuff to do. Anyways.. when we got home that evening, they girls got their Christmas eve jammies and went to bed.

Please note, they were both asleep in the car... but I woke 'em up so I could get their Christmas eve jammies picture... this is the best I could get.

Madelynn in her CE jammies last year.

and this is Madelynn with Santa last year... Maybe I can steal some pics from Christmas eve from Aunt Crystal??? (please.) :)

and thats all for now....

Santa

oh... and one more thing I forgot to share. When we were in the hospital, Santa himself came to visit!! We really wanted, and planned for Madelynn to be there but it got backed waaay up into nap time so she had to go home and nap. Ended up santa had alot more little visitors than expected so he was late. I figured a tired girl+ new creepy big, red man with white beard might = a huge disaster... matter of fact, I can guarantee a disaster...

we got a sweet picture of Payton with him tho. She smiled almost every time the lady took a picture.

Bathtub mohawk.

Its official! Madelynn had her first mohawk.

Paytons Dr. appointment went well... basically just had a little check-up and got an appointment for Feb. 5 with the urologist. So just more waiting. For now she won't be on antibiotics at home so we'll just be watchin her real close for the next month or so until we see the Doctor.... Just so happened that her check up was on her 4 month birthday so he said... well lets go ahead and do immunizations (her regular 4 month check up was in January... why they put it off till then, I dont know) I was ok with that cuz... I dont know about you mommas out there but for me, like the build up to that appointment where you know they'll be getting shots is torturous.. I think about it day in and day out... preparing myself for the moment when I have to hold down my baby and look in their eyes when they look up at me like what the heck mom??? Why are you doing this to me??? (am I totally ridiculous or what?!?!) So to not have to go through that was ok with me. But... having to do double the shots was definitely not fun!! Payton got her immunizations and Madelynn got the second half of her flu shot.

This is about the best picture I have of Payton for ya... life has been a little... difficult to say the least, so I have not got my camera out much.

- this is how she HAS to sleep, blanket up round her head, or totally covering her face

- Drinks 6 oz.

-Size 3 diapers (right along with her big sister)

- 15 lbs. (bout 5 lbs. shy of her big sister)

- Wears 6 months clothes

- dont remember how long

- She is in the 75% in weight and height

- Reaching for, and grabbing things

- still not rolling over

- Rolls from side to side

- sleeps through the night until about 6 or so for a bottle, then back to sleep till 9 or 10.

- Is a HORRIBLE medicine taker ( like her daddy was.)

- Loves to look at and laugh at her big sister. You can tell she so badly wants to interact with Madelynn.

-wants to sit up so bad she cant even stand it. She gets VERY frustrated with laying down.

see how bad she is trying to sit up??

The Dr said we can start solids! YEAY! Im excited. I think that she is gonna love it.

We all seem to be doing much better around here. Nat had the whole shabang of the sickness. It was a really really long week. Madelynn ended up running fever a few days and just kinda layed around not feeling well... but she definitely did not get it as bad as Nat and I. Payton ran fever about a day... but never really seemed sick, so maybe thats all she got of the devil bug (i gave it a name.)

my sicky babies.

makes me smile...

When Payton was born and Nat brought her to me for the first time, the first thing I remember saying was "she doesn't look happy" I know... what a sweet thing to be able to tell her when she older huh??? Well... when your all sorts of drugged up you can't really 100% take credit for every word that comes outta your mouth. But.. it really was a concerning thing to me at the time. Why, I dont know... seeing as she was just evicted from her nice warm, dark, squishy little home into a place where she gets poked as soon as she enters, gets things stuck down her throat and up her poor little bitty nose, and the lights... oh Lord all the lights... I think I might be a little ticked off to.

Is that not the saddest thing you ever saw????

Anyways... In case you never saw Payton when she was littler, she had a little wrinkle right above her nose that made her look like a grumpy old man so I always told Nat I just dont think that she is happy with her life... cuz the look on her face was pure unhappiness. And it really bothered me alot.

She was EXTREMELY... (and I can attest to this) squished down low while she was cookin... when they did the C-section, they had to push her way up from where she was way down low and... i'll just say it hurt. Took the breath right outta me and the sad part was I was completely numb and drugged... so that being said, that is why her face was so squished... and why she had the old man wrinkle that made her look so unhappy. Little did I know that she would be the absolute happiest, most joyful, full of life, sweet spirited little girl I have ever seen, and Im not just saying that cuz she is my baby. She honestly is all those things, she has been talking and cooing since she was little bitty. She even smiled early. All this while she was in some pretty bad pain from this kidney reflux that she has had since she was born. I know how bad a UTI can hurt and I can be a baby about it... but seeing her, you would never guess she was hurting all these months of her little life. One morning while we were in the hospital and the Dr came in to check on us and share some news with us he said these sweet words that i'll never forget. Payton was laying on the bed just smilin and talkin away and he said "man, I cant believe how happy she is, she is in so much pain and yet she still smiles... I wonder if when she is over this if she will be even happier... is thats even possible." I was so blessed to hear those words said about my little girl. I hope she stays this happy FOREVER!!!

Life...

...has dealt us a crappy hand this week!! As you all know, we were in the hospital with Payton all weekend. I started to feel bad on Sunday. Monday I got really sick... the kind of sick where you are stuck in bed with tissues, the thermometer, a bottle of water, and cough drops on the side table... and you dont move at all.. and if you do, your whole body aches and it feels like someone is rubbing sandpaper all over you... irritating every inch of your skin. The kinda sick where you have the chills even when your covered all the way up to your neck and you cant get warm. Know that kinda sick?? Its absolutely 100% HORRIBLE!!

Nat also had to take Tues. off to stay home and take care of the girls cuz there was no way I would be able to take care of them. Yesterday, Sharon came and got them, and they stayed the night with her and she has had them all day today too. I am feeling a tad bit better today. I was able to actually get outta bed and go to the Dr.'s.. we'll see tonight if things are getting better or not. I tested negative for the flu which I was soooo happy for!! So I just got some kind of virus that is like the flu. All you can do is let it run its course...

Nat came home from work today feeling like crud and running fever... so here we go again... I guess I am kinda forced to feel better at this point. There ain't no one to take care of momma AND daddy. I really really REALLY hope that he does not get what I have/had as bad as I got it! I wouldnt wish that upon anyone! He came home took some medicine and went to bed and now he is snoring away. He has already missed 2 days of work this week so hopefully he can get over it thorough the weekend.

I so badly wanna hold my girls and kiss 'em and play with them. I have kept myself from them so they dont get sick. I especially miss Madelynn. I haven't really spent a whole lotta time with her since Fri. morning. Its been good to be back home... just wish the circumstances were a little different!!

Anyways... so thats a (horrible) update on life. Keep prayin for us!! We are still keeping the girls away for a few more days cuz them getting sick would be the absolute worst thing right now. I am more than ready for normalcy to reign our lives again... I am so glad that we have family that are able and willing to take care of our girls at this time.

Oh and in case you were wondering.... Payton is still doing very well! We are having a lot of trouble getting her to swallow her meds... but were managing. Were anxious to see the Dr. on Monday... then after that will be more waiting and anxiousness. So were pretty much at a standstill with that little girl. Keep prayin!! Thanks again to everyone for your support and love.

Nat took this sweet picture on Monday when I was laid up in bed.

uhhh.... I miss them like crazy!! Have you ever had to be separated from your kids??? Its the absolute pits! I think I would rather be in labor than to be away from my babies for this long!!

We're home!!!

and its good to be here!! I feel like crud so this is gonna be short and sweet.

-Payton still never ran fever.

- We will see Dr. Wehner on the 21 and he will check her out and make sure all is still going in the right direction, and from there, we will schedule and appointment with the urologist here in town.

-Dr. W. said since her case is so bad, there is a chance she will have to go ahead and have it surgically fixed. But... its a wait and see thing right now.

For now, we'll stay home and keep a close eye on her and make sure she runs no fever.

Were all glad to be home... there really is no place like home!!!

The big sister

While we have been up here, we have really been missin Madelynn!!!!! We both wanted to be with Payton as we are in here and I am so blessed to have family that I know will take good care of Madelynn. We have had a couple of visits from her since we have been here and have enjoyed it!! Even if she does not enjoy us. :) She is not carin to much about us since she is probably thinkin that we have dropped off the face of the earth. She'll get back used to us soon!!!

Here are a few pictures of our visits with the big sister.

There is a play room right down the hall from us and Madelynn tries... and sometimes succeeds at sneaking out the door to go play... or she acts all sweet to the nurse and reaches for 'em.... she aint a dummy, she knows where they are headed!! She has become good friends with them! They have been very gracious and let her play when she is here.

daddy builds such cool things that mommas never can build. :)

(Not that she was protesting or anything, but I have made her keep her paci in her mouth when she is here to keep hands and toys out of her mouth.)

Payton playin in the bouncer in the play room

here we go! takin a ride in the wagon with big sister

sweet baby girl.

Madelynn eatin the animal crackers from her pa pa. She took every one out and took 1 bite outta them and then put 'em all back and repeated the process.

The princess after her little bath.

Hey, if one arms gotta be straightened out all the time, why not make it worth while??

my girlies.

I had to get out today! Just had to. You can start to go a little crazy in these rooms. I couldn't imagine having to stay here more than we already have to!! So I went home and started some laundry... I know, what a break right??? Oh well... it really needed to be done and I did not want mounds of laundry to do when we get home. So I got a jump start on it (with the help of my mom.)

Payton is still doing very well still!! I think that she is getting a little aggravated and bored with this room and her IV chord having to be attached at all times. Ill be glad when I can hold her and not have to worry about that dang IV.

Thanks again everyone for your support, love, prayers, and visits!! God hears your prayers and is taking extra good care of our little girl!! We love you guys!!!